As a child I was an avid swimmer. To be in a pool, ocean or river was my favorite thing in the world. When I was invited to a swimming pond with a friend, though I was excited at the thought of going, the moment we arrived my excitement turned to dread. The water was dark.
I hadn’t thought about what ponds actually were: murky, possibly the habitat of God knows what, and seemingly bottomless from the surface. It took me a long time, but eventually I jumped in. Still terrified mind you, but proud of myself all the same.
Over the years many more small victories have been won, and though I’ve lived with fear and anxiety for most of my life, I’ve proven myself to be braver than I thought on quite a few occasions. After each one of these, I’ve always had a little voice inside my head saying “I told you so. I knew you could do it.” Even still, one of the fears I’ve had the hardest time conquering is my fear of being seen. More specifically, my fear of putting myself out there, and the uncertainty of what could happen (or not happen) next.
As you can probably imagine, this made it quite challenging to launch my writing career. I had so many “almost” moments where I was back on the edge of that pond again, but couldn’t bring myself to jump in.
I’d kick myself every time, and spend the next few weeks silently berating myself for another failed attempt. But the urge to be a writer wouldn’t leave me, and I know enough about intuition to understand that when something won’t go away it’s important. So, even though it contradicted what my fear told me, I had to persevere.
Here are a few of the tactics I used to trick my fear into thinking this was a good idea, that ultimately helped me take the leap:
Take the Next Most Obvious Step
For me, getting my writer website launched was the first major hurdle, and it took me a lot longer than I’d care to admit! For you it could be sending out your first LOI, creating a LinkedIn profile or polishing your pitching skills.
Whatever you haven’t done that seems like the next important item on your list, do that one thing. Then, do the next. Sensing a pattern here? With each accomplished task you will feel lighter, a little braver, and you’ll be that much closer to your goal!
One step at a time feels a lot less daunting than trying to do it all at once, and your confidence will grow along the way.
Arm Yourself to the Teeth
Performance anxiety is real, and it happens to even the most confident people. When first starting out this is only amplified by the lack of experience under your belt; it’s easy to feel like an impostor among the professionals.
One way to mitigate this is to arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can.
If you lack confidence in your writing skills, brush up on them with a quick course or have someone who’s opinion you trust critique your work. This goes for marketing, web design, pitching, you name it. There are infinite ways to build your skill set, pick the one that you need the most first and work on that.
Research, Research, Research
Once you’ve been hired, a whole new set of fears can come up. “What if I can’t do this? What if they don’t like my work? What if, what if, what if?”
The best way I’ve found to ease this is to know what you’re writing. If you’re knowledgeable on the topic already, you’re good! If not, take the time to thoroughly research what you’ll be writing about. Create a file of sources to refer back to, watch videos, read books/articles/blog posts, or talk to people knowledgeable in the field if possible.
Whatever helps to boost your confidence on the topic, do it. You will create your best work when you feel like you actually know what you’re talking about!
See Fear for What it is
I spent so many years hating the fact that I was afraid and seeing fear as the enemy. This made no sense, seeing as I was basically fighting with myself. We’re programmed with the fight or flight response from way back when we had to survive dangerous times as cavemen, and that part of our brain has yet to evolve.
Through various sources I learned that my fear was a product of my mind, essentially just trying to keep me safe. This helped me to be less angry with it and see it for what it was. Once you can do this, your fear will start to dissipate when your brain realizes you’re not in mortal danger after all.
Take Care of Yourself
One of the easiest things to do when you’re anxious or fearful is to forget to be gentle with yourself. Being afraid/anxious/stressed takes a toll on your body and mind, and when it happens too frequently it can actually cause damage to your health. Beating yourself up over it only makes things worse!
If you find yourself in a predominant state of stress, take a step back and recalibrate. Take a walk or a hot bath, cook yourself a delicious meal, meditate or do something silly with your kids. Taking time for yourself will not only help to alleviate some stress, it’s beneficial for those around you too. Being more relaxed will help you to be the best version of yourself!
Remember Your Why
What’s your reason for wanting to be a freelance writer? Is it more money, more time with the family, more free time for yourself, a creative outlet? Whatever the basis of your why, take time when you’re feeling fearful to acknowledge it.
Picture your life on the other side of your fear; how great it will feel to have put your worries behind you and really live the life you dream of. Now picture life in the coming years if you let your fear stop you. Which one feels better? I’m guessing here, but it’s most likely the former. Remembering your why can work wonders to keep your spirits up when fear gets you down.
At the pond all those years ago, the uncertainty of what lay beneath the surface was the source of my fear. Uncertainty is the reason so many of us don’t go for our dreams, but what’s the worst that could happen if we jump in?
Like my child self, I finally realized that on the other side of that split-second decision to go for it, I would be ok. You will be too! Just keep going, one step at a time, however fast or slow feels good to you. Your fear might come along for the ride, but at least you’ll finally be in the driver’s seat!